• Easter and how I survived with PTSD

    Ah, the holidays. The home where most trauma triggers meet. Easter, this time. Whether you are still in contact with your family or not, they are an annual full blown reminder of abuse. When I met other child abuse survivors, I realised how lucky I am. I was able to go no contact and not see my family. Part of that was easier to do, due to the fact they abandoned me a long time ago. I never realised this and always missed them because I just wanted a family like everybody else. To me, the holidays were never about nice family dinners and spending good time together because the…

  • What happens when (C)PTSD and an abuse free future meet

    Chaos happens. It’s a new type of chaos, that doesn’t feel as heavy as the old chaos. Whoever follows me on social media already read or noticed I have been doing amazingly well lately. Not that PTSD is gone and that I am cured; it’s more of being able to deal with triggers, stay in the present and more importantly: look in to the future. It’s been going so well, I don’t even need EMDR therapy for now. What does this mean for my blog? Not much, apart from the fact I realised I want to start to write about my progress and my future. This means I will write…

  • Dissociative subtype of PTSD or Dissociative Identity Disorder?

    Last week I saw my dear friend T. again. She was in the neighbourhood and invited me for coffee or lunch in a place nearby. I opted for coffee but, and we should have known, it turned out to be both. We have so much to talk about, that next time we should just go for lunch straight away! At some point during our many conversations, she asked me how she can spot the dissociation signs, both obvious and less obvious. She told me she doesn’t want to send me home by myself when I am in a dissociative state and afraid. Honestly, this is the first time anyone cares…

  • Blog change

    When I started this blog I knew I wanted to accomplish something with it. However, I did not know how I wanted to do that just yet. Like my daddy used to say:   Just start and you will find out how it works out for you. If it works, awesome, you won. If it doesn’t, that’s okay, you learnt.       Failure did not exist in my father’s dictionary, in a good sense. He made sure I kept trying but when he died, I missed his external encouragement. I did not have it internalised because of my mother’s abuse. I simply could not believe I could amount to…