• Dissociation part 2

    It has been almost a month since my last blog post, I honestly thought it was close to two weeks. A lot has happened in the last month and  I have severe dissociative episodes. A lot of people have been telling me they don’t notice anything when I am dissociating, part of that has to do with the fact that I have used this coping skill since I was little. I go on auto pilot and go to work and meet with friends and do all my normal things. So here it is, dissociation part 2.   I can feel outside my body whilst I work (like I’m watching myself…

  • Birthday girl

    Today is my 30th birthday! I haven’t been this excited since my 8th birthday and I received a Baby Born doll I really wanted. It’s the only thing I remember from that day too, it seems significant right now. I wanted to write a blog post about all the horrible birthday memories I have. I changed my mind. Yes, I feel sad today. That is probably why I wanted to write about it. Instead, I want to let you know 30 true facts about me. Share the gifts I bought for myself  and what I plan to do today. Let me start with my plans for today. I am a…

  • Child sexual abuse

    A name to what happened to me. When you name something, you make it real. Just like how I named child abuse and narcissistic abuse, I gave a name to what happened to me. Because it has, all of it has happened to me. I am aware this will come as a shock to people who know me. I was between the age of 9 and 12. And once when I was 17. The inevitable has happened, maybe this is what I have been afraid of all along. Traumas I know I locked away surfaced and I cannot hide them any more. That is what happens when you recover from…