There are a lot of moments in your life in which you have to ask yourself, “Is this still effective?”. Working on my recovery, I have stumbled on a lot of those moments. And right now I am there again. EMDR or Exposure Therapy?
Since the last Exposure Therapy session didn’t exactly go as planned. I’m left with the decision whether or not to go through with it. At first I thought the anxiety it opened up was a good thing. It was after I was unable to leave the house and spiralled into a depression again, I realised it wasn’t as good as I had hoped for.
These traumas I am facing after 20+ years come with too many emotion and triggers to handle at once. Right now I feel everything I have been through. I realise I have never known anything but fear, abandonment and unworthiness. A new kind of grief has come over me and it’s tough. Yet, at the same time I see a whole new world opening before me and this confuses me. After living in a constant state of survival, I don’t have to survive anymore. I have survived, I am a survivor.
All this confusion made me decide I might need to start EMDR treatment, rather than go on with the Exposure Therapy. EMDR and Exposure Therapy both have the same results. However EMDR doesn’t use any form of homework. It also doesn’t require to repetitively talk about the details of the trauma for an hour or more. Exposure therapy has certainly helped me and I still feel the effectiveness from the sessions before. Without it I probably wouldn’t be where I am today. For the deeper traumas I think EMDR is required and will help me recover further.
Most important is the fact I keep move forward, if this is with EMDR instead of Exposure Therapy, so be it. I have to do what works best for me and keep fighting for nothing less than what’s best for me. For now it’s key that I crawl out of this depression again.Love & Light, Sandra